The Confucius Prize, Chinese blunders, and why you should be wary of sex-crazed wolverines

I got a fuller report of the Confucius Prize presser this morning from Yajun…she’s under the impression that the organizers and the judges had no earthly idea what they were in for when they decided to cobble this thing together and invite 200 or so representatives of the foreign media — all desperate for column inches/bytes to fill — to attend.

Seriously…the committee might have been better off bathing in duck blood and telling a pack of sex-crazed wolverines to “bring it, bitches.”

Even the use of a small child as an improvised human shield was apparently insufficient to keep the imperialist savagery at bay.*

Tan Changliu, the mastermind of this PR fiasco, closed the ceremony by scolding the visibly amused throng of journos that, “In 500 years we will see who is right.”

It probably won’t take that long.  Historians are often poor predictors of what is yet to be, knowledge of the past does not guarantee a clear view of the future, but one thing studying history does do is give you a sense of how the present is likely to be remembered.  It doesn’t take the wisdom of Thucydides to guess that in a decade or

9 Random Thoughts for December 9

1. The “Confucius Peace Prize” award ceremony turned into such a debacle of such high unintentional comedy that the relevant propaganda organs are right now tripping over themselves to disown the whole stupid idea.  In other news,  the strategy of “locking a lot of people up” is — unbelievably — not taking the focus off of China’s human right’s record.  Suffice it to say, MOFA spokeswoman Jiang Yu probably wishes she had decided to call in sick today.  On the plus side, former  spokesgeek Qin Gang would have probably started crying on the podium so…kind of a win.

2. Yajun was at the press conference for the Confucius Prize this afternoon and she told me that she actually started to feel bad for some members of the “committee” who clearly had no idea what they had signed up and that the ringleader of the whole circus,Tan Changliu, is totally fucking nuts in a kind of “check his refrigerator for human organs” kind of way.

3. It’s the end of the semester and I am 19 papers away from locking myself in closet with 50 boxes of ramen noodles and a case of Four Loko not to emerge again until I’ve

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