Today being a beautiful day in the ‘jing, I thought of nothing better than a long hutong ramble, a bit of urban hiking if you will. We started at Xinjiekou, wormed our way through the Sihuan wet market, around Houhai,* down Gulou Dongdajie (stopping for burritos at Amigos), and then south along Jiaodaokou to the National Museum of Art, and then further south still…and that’s where our springtime stroll turned interesting.
I had — perhaps naively — assumed that since no protests materialized last Sunday, and the overwhelming security response had brought so much attention to a non-issue, that this Sunday would be comparatively mellow. A few cops, some red armbands, but mostly just NPC bullshit and nothing like the street sweepers and broom beaters of last Sunday’s debacle on Wangfujing.
Yep, I was wrong.
We made it past the first checkpoint, just north of the cathedral, by putting on the ‘dumb laowai’ act. Since most cops assume foreigners are idiots anyway, this ruse is not too hard to pull off. After a few “We don’t know anything we just want to look at the church, Mr. Police Officer” lines, we were through…only to be stopped just north of the pedestrian mall by a literal phalanx of security forces (at least 20-30 plus plainclothes). Chinese shoppers were coming and going at will, but within a minute we were pulled aside and surrounded by police officers, asking for our identification and passports, and who we were, and where we were going, and did we like Justin Bieber’s music or was it just his hair…usual cop shit.
On one hand, you had to feel for the poor bastards. We asked them why we couldn’t go forward and they knew why, and they knew we knew why, and they knew that we knew they knew why…but they couldn’t say why. They had to stick to the “it’s not convenient” line as they grew more and more pissed and we were having trouble keeping straight faces.
“Come back tomorrow.”
“Is there something going on today?”
“Nothing going on today. Just come back tomorrow.”
“Not today?”
“No. It’s not convenient.”
“Why”
“Because tomorrow is more convenient.”
As this charade was being played out — and as would happen a little while later by Xidan — several Chinese passers-by stopped to gather around and watch the cops and the foreigners arguing in Chinese, and when they started asking the cops why the foreigners couldn’t go through…well, that was the end of that.
Our ‘conversation’ lasted another two minutes before it was clear that we were not going any further. They forced us to cross the road and head west towards the Forbidden City.
Going through the Forbidden City East Gate and then turning south and out Tiananmen, we naturally assumed we’d run into more police interference, but no…the closer we got to the Hall of the People the fewer cops we saw.
Thinking that was it, we walked east along Chang’an Dajie. Even in front of Zhongnanhai there was the usual contingent of PAP and a few plainclothes guys but nothing out of the ordinary…and then we hit Xidan.
Even in my naivete, I had a hunch that Wangfujing might be problematic, but Xidan was a “back up location.” I mean…you bring your big guns out to guard Lebron, not Mike Bibby.
But about two blocks east of the shopping area, a group of cops made us from 50 meters out and gathered us in.
“You can’t go to Xidan.”
“Why?”
“Because it is not convenient.”
Of course, even having this conversation was difficult because we were caught in a massive crush of Chinese people, all of whom were headed to Xidan.
“They can go, why not us?”
“According to relevant regulations, you cannot go.”
“What if I want to go to the Arsenal store?”
“You cannot.”
“A Spurs fan, eh?”
In the middle of yet another Kafka-esque conversation with the forces of disorder, my friend mentioned that we didn’t want to go to Xidan, our final destination was actually the famous Minzu Fandian, located about 300 meters east of Xidan.
“Oh, Minzu Fandian. You want to go there?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, go straight. But don’t stop at Xidan.”
Problem solved for at least one block until we ran into a huge cordon of cops, three of whom were filming us.
“Where are you going?”
“Minzu Fandian?”
(Talks into radio.)
Now, the boss comes over. He was dressed — I am not making this up — exactly like Tiger Woods: Nike sweater, shades, Nike hat. He looks us over, asks the usual questions and then huddles with the two uniform guys who are his minions.
For what it’s worth, the old guy did let us pass, focusing his attention instead on berating some poor foreign tourist with a huge backpack who was probably wondering why and how Lonely Planet had steered him so horribly wrong.
Thinking ahead, we asked:
“Can you tell them we’re going to the Minzu Fandian so they don’t keep stopping us?”
(Talks into radio.)
“No problem.”
This seemed to work. We walked another block, now we’re in front of the actual square, which had been cordoned off with the blue construction tarp made famous last week outside the Wangfujing McDonald’s. More cops try to stop us, but their radios crackle, we hear the words Minzu Fandian, and they break off.
Now we’re thinking that “Minzu Fandian” is a kind of mystical incantation like “confundo,” “You shall not pass,” “These are not the droids you’re looking for,” or “Two tequila slammers and the check.”
But as we walk past Xidan and onto the quieter section of the street, we notice that not only are we being filmed and followed on foot, there was a police van slowly shadowing us, stopping when we do, going when we go. This is unnerving enough that we hunkered down for a moment outside the Minzu Fandian as if we actually meant to go inside.
By that point though we could turn north again, and soon we were alone in the desolation of the Financial District on a Sunday afternoon. No people. No cops. Just a peaceful stroll.
Even when we walked past the actual CPPCC building — which, you know given the calendar, you would think might have a security presence — there was nothing. Seriously. We could have played a game of ultimate in their parking lot. Two guys were watching the whole place.
There have been a lot of theories recently about just what these anonymous calls for protest want to accomplish. Barbara Demick argued this week that the whole thing is an elaborate ruse to burn out the Chinese security response.
I don’t think that was the intention originally, but when the first two “protests” failed to materialize, then the idea of making the cops jump every time somebody online posted the word “hop” has become a game unto itself.
Certainly today, the cops were on high alert, and the government response is starting to take on the cat-piss stench of fear when in reality it has little to be afraid of.
We’ll have to see what next Sunday brings.
——————
*Has anyone else noticed they have totally demolished 银锭桥 Silver Ingot Bridge? When did this happen? I guess they’re re-engineering it to the support the weight of an Audi A6…
all this from a culture that once deeply understood that all actions tend to create their opposite.
I’m guessing that Zhou Youkang doesn’t read a lot of Laozi, but who knows?
I often found the easiest thing to do with these barriers (think the prep for the 60th anniversary march that bisected beijing) to state that you live or work at that building and point to it. Also mention the need for medicine or some other manufactured but plausible excuse and it works.
Either that or just laugh at them and continue feigning ignorance or the need to dial 110 as you are scared and concerned.
Have to try that next time.
GREAT Piece!!!!!
Thanks!!!!
[...] Jottings from the Granite Studio – Jeremiah recounts his eventful stroll through Beijing’s main streets. [...]
Noticed the Yindingqiao demolition during a walk three weeks ago. Don’t know what to think about it yet, but sure of one thing: If they widen it to two lanes, worry.
Hey, you know, it was only the last of the “Eight Great Sites” left. Besides, I’m not sure it’s possible to ruin Houhai anymore than they’ve done already.
Why was 银锭桥 Silver Ingot Bridge demolished and why for Audi A6?
It’s not demolished as you are daily spoonfed by your mainstream media which you dont belong. It will be back soon same as it was before for Audi A6, a car poplar for Chinese middle-class which are more than Americans on PPP term and which made you a perfect green-eye monster. You know that and we know that, lol!
BTW, when will you Americans have enough money to repair so many of your rotten bridges all over USA, not yet destroyed by Ladin? Oh it will need years of democratic debates of American Model, right?
It’s nice to know I attract such an intelligent and worldly readership.
I was going there on sunday to the Xinhua bookstore, but in the ned I was busy waiting for a friend. Mmmm maybe next week I can go with a friend, it is becoming part of Beijing Tourist Guide: WangfuJing Pedestrian Street, Sunday Madness!
You gotta wonder how many times the Beijing police are going to go through this before they finally just say, “Screw it.”
[...] would take it close to the area proposed as a site for protests, was canceled. “Jottings from the Granite Studio” has also posted an amusing and telling account of just how nervous the ruling CCP is about [...]
I particularly like the “plain-clothes” policemen, with their matching brown leather jackets and conspicuous walkie-talkies… although I guess being conspicuous is exactly what they’re supposed to be doing, so in that respect they’ve done quite well.
The earphones give it away, too. But you’re right, the Chinese security forces are not about the subtle.
I maybe totally wrong, but it kind of sounds like the authorities were profiling you all.
Not wrong at all. Chinese — actually people with Asian faces — could come and go at will. I think Sunday’s plan represented a bit of learning curve over last week. On February 27, the cops found out that once the journalists were in position, there was really no way to move them without force — and we all know how that turned out. This time, they decided to take preemptive action and just keep the journos out. A random Chinese demonstrator they can handle (especially when they know there aren’t any cameras) a gaggle of foreign journalists has proved more problematic for them.
Jeremiah
Are we thinking along the same lines?
That cat piss metaphor tickled a few people in the blogosphere.
Uncredited assist by Ian McShane on Deadwood.
This is an off-topic question of mine, but do you know any good Chinese history blogs or forums?
English or Chinese language is ok. I’ve been to a few already.
I’m a big fan of Frog in a Well, Alan Baumler writes really thoughtful posts.
With respect, I’ve never heard of that so-called assist. Pls provide the link.
From this scene here, that particular bit of dialogue begins at 1:28. One of my all-time favorite shows.
Funny, the comedic tone makes this all seem so innocuous, but really think about what this describes… How close do these conditions mirror those of a full-out police state, how many steps is this removed from a brutal crackdown?
I think that’s fair. What was an amusing story for me and my friends is part of an apparatus that brutalizes Chinese dissidents. But one way of defanging the forces of authoritarianism and overcompensation is by laughing at their sorry asses.
[...] Jottings from the Granite Studio – Jeremiah recounts his eventful stroll through Beijing’s main streets. [...]
Couldn’t you have taken the bus or subway? I know it would have only been half the fun, but in the (very democratic) country I live in this is usually the easiest way to get around police lockdowns.
Where we were it’s a little tricky to catch a cab or even a bus, besides…urban hiking. The whole point was to get out and walk.
Excellent piece of writing, blogging at its best! I especially like the part about how the cops assume all laowai are idiots, very true.
Just tried to get a room at the “Minzu Fandian” for next weekend; apparently it is now booked full by Caucasian journalists.
No offense, it sounded to me like a bunch of dumb laowais trying to test the Chinese security.
who seemed to have no trouble outsmarting Beijing’s finest, so…
[...] protest took place. A week after the protest date, however, it was still impossible to get to the forbidden district around the fast-food restaurant. We asked them why we couldn’t go forward and they knew why, and [...]
Great stuff! This is your best piece yet — in a series of highly entertaining ones lately (both here and at the Atlantic). So, please, keep it up.
BTW, is it just me or is your style of writing increasingly resembling that of Justin Mitchell? Now he’s left the Middle Kingdom (for now, at least — I wish him the best), it’s good to see you stepping up.
Um, I don’t know. I enjoy Justin’s blog and we’ve been writing for almost the same amount of time. I guess my influence is more Bill Simmons than anyone in the Sinosphere…but I’m glad you enjoy the recent posts.